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Monday, April 30, 2012 The amount of fuck I give... Is this muchLiar. You're talking to the wall. Hypocrite. Get lost. I'm still here. You're gonna lose, you're going back to how you were before, you're gonna feel immense pain, you won't make it. Thanks. Now be gone
Sunday, April 29, 2012 So let's press undoRearrange the old and call it new If you realise As you will realise I never give up. there are so many things I ought to be thankful for but oh, the depression trump it falls so heavily on your shoulders leaves your feeling of gold melting like canadian snow that little love don't underestimate it for it hovers high above your head. the happy thoughts within your reach are nothing more than a memory leech; never did you know that when it falls you're so low, so so low. I've always wanted to jump; Hover in the air and never fall; But over the years I took comfort in feeling the impact on my feet - the sand, the mud, the little creatures I kill while I find solace. I still want to jump; But before I fall let me appreciate the world for what it is; I will do so however agonizing the descent is. Because I know that as time passes my speed of descent stabilizes and then I slow down and while I slow down I appreciate where I came from why I was so scared and how grateful I am now and then I'll land with a soft thud with the wind in my hair and the greatest sense of achievement. And I will do that over and over and over again till I finally fall to my death.
If you ever leave me, baby,
Leave some morphine at my door
Cause it would take a whole lot of medication
To realize what we used to have,
We don't have it anymore.
There's no religion that could save me
No matter how long my knees are on the floor, oh
So keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm making
To keep you by my side
And keep you from walking out the door
I only just noticed the lyrics of that song, however much I hate the bruno mars version.
Well there're better covers out there.
I've got my shopping, i'm free, i find freedom in the camera and me and nature, but something's missing. What is it?
Saturday, April 07, 2012 I stopped counting at week 7.And I am grateful and it has stopped. Just... The engine stopped running. It stopped fighting for normality. Things are normal now. But motivation is lost. Do I need to lose something to fight for something? No, I could always fight for more than I have at present Maybe I just don't want it that badly afterall. I don't just need strength now. I need pressure, for once. External pressure. My insides have crumbled over the past 3 months. There's calmness, but darkness, still.
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escapist but a morose optimist. musings June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 April 2013 May 2013 August 2014 March 2017 through solitude 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 and drab at random blogger box
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