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Thursday, July 28, 2011 Can't bear to imagine what life will be like when there's school again, fml. No time to even read the ECONOMIST - not even comics or storybooks or youtube videos, dammit. No time for any damn thing. Just hope it'll be worth it in a year.
If I'd have another, my downfall would probably originate from too much forward-planning, that life screws up where I'm living it. Then I try to divert my attention to the present, to try and absorb every moment, but always transient at best. Yeah I know well enough, but administering the remedy turns out to be an inexorable struggle which started round about 6 years ago.
Wednesday, July 27, 2011 Recently caught a glance of a note I kept, written on rough paper. A sloppy-looking note which nonetheless impacted me the most. I still kinda recall when I received it; an unbearably tumultuous period I miraculously got through.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011 Getting used to it Lit the fuse to it It's strange how I still expect little, or negligible, till now. It's the result of emotional weathering, yeah it is. It's cold right there in the middle, slightly to your right. It's melted, but cold, still. Been a year or so, but yeah, been primed to expect the very worst. Selfishness, self-protection; that's the ultimate rationale. Been talking to myself forever And it feels like me, on a good day
Wednesday, July 06, 2011 Honestly. I'm really sick of the unfortunate events that come my way in my life. For the past year I thought hard, and finally figured out that I really do not fucking deserve any of it. So why me? Yeah good question, but at the end of all the bullshit I just want an answer to that. I'm guessing it's either experience or resilience, but sure shouldn't be punishment
Sunday, July 03, 2011 I don't know what's up with me watching and reading about the terminally ill and the dying, but I sure have been inspired to live my life with absolutely no regrets.I think my mentality has changed more in the past 6 months than it ever has in the past 19 years. To be honest I think I owe it to one person, but nobody knows who it is. It's been only 4 months and about 23 days, but what a miracle of a time it's been. take out of your wasted honour every little past frustration take all your so-called problems better put them in quotations I've got a bucket list full of seemingly unattainable goals, with $ and time being the foremost obstacles. It makes me depressed just thinking of them. That's why I normally try my best to forget what I might have on that list in my head. Is it even a good idea to write it down?
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escapist but a morose optimist. musings June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 April 2013 May 2013 August 2014 March 2017 through solitude 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 and drab at random blogger box
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