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Thursday, February 17, 2011 Can't really seem to find a direction right now. I like my life the way it is presently, but there's a seemingly good course to follow but it's weird not that i'm feeling so reluctant. I suppose i've moved ahead much faster than anyone would expect me too, and i shock myself too. Now should i stay or not?
Tuesday, February 15, 2011 I don't think i'm typing all this cause i happen to be listening to overly emotional trance right now, but gosh i've been having 2nd thoughts about what i wanted so badly months ago. I sure got it right now. Woke up reflecting about the many things i've moved on in my life without, starting thinking about the future (oh so familiar), and contiuned worrying. Argh screw myself.I actually think things might've been better if i went on with life yearning and not getting anything. Just working for something real important but never getting it - that's where i find my drive. And i'll have to find another once i've achieved my objective. That's tough, really.
Tuesday, February 08, 2011 I've got 2 behind and 1 in front. The 1 in front was supposed to be behind. But it's unclear.I didn't want it to be this complicated. I haven't stopped sighing every minute i'm with myself. Boy it's fucked up. It's a total repeat of what i thought i was right about in j1 but i was wrong. And this time i've learnt. Won't settle for any less than what i want.
Monday, February 07, 2011 i'm starting to think that i'm wasting my goddamn time trying to appease someone because it doesn't give me any benefit. appeasement policy started a year ago. it worked for quite awhile but the wrath is unfolding now. if i had a gun, gosh my ceiling would be full of bullet holes. and there'd be blood dripping down from them. i've thought of killing him/them for longer than a normal lunatic (oh yes, portray myself as a lunatic more often and if i really do kill them maybe i'll plead unsoundness of mind), but that's also 'cause he's the most insane man you'll ever meet in your life. trust me.anyway i honestly think it's insane that a lunatic with a sophisticated criminal mind is reading law. the interviewers got conned. or maybe these were the kind they were looking for. undergoing an unexplainable feel-like-shit moment, one that i'd like to wake up from but realise i'm awake and sober. i can name everything that is troubling me, but no idea why it impacts that greatly. if a potential employer happened to chance upon my collection of evidence of lunacy that'd be the end of me. that's precisely why i decided to remove the name quite awhile ago (and of course for other miscellaneous reasons).
Sunday, February 06, 2011 Don't let go, don't run away love, I still got feelings; you are my passionI'm here defending Trance and House music. They're genres that invoke raw, unadulterated passion. For those without lyrics, the ability to let music speak for itself it's quite a wonder. That's why I like lyrical dance, for someone who honestly dont understand the technicalities of dance, I understand lyrical through the movement, driven by pure emotion. I think it's time people understood the genre in it's beauty. That's why I always found it a pity and really quite nonsensical that entry to zouk costs less than phuture. Zouk music is an art, phuture is just... a mashup of current money-making pop music. Well I guess there's a reason why art house films are cheaper than mainstream ones.
Tuesday, February 01, 2011 karma doesnt like me to be happy. i learn now. it doesnt pay to tell others that you're happy. karma hates it. i'm a born criminal and i know darn well what i can do. i do whatever i have to and want to. watch outi dont have an anger problem. i have a family problem. there is one fucked up bigot, one being with no eq, and one hopelessly believing in the religion of hypocrites it's not that hard to argue with me. you lose when you launch personal attacks irrelevant to the argument
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escapist but a morose optimist. musings June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 April 2013 May 2013 August 2014 March 2017 through solitude 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 and drab at random blogger box
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