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Saturday, October 30, 2010 The Brain Dominance TestOf 30 questions, 19 of your responses indicate you are left brained dominant. 11 of your responses are indications of right brain dominance. These results indicate you are predominantly left-brain dominant. People who are left-brain dominant thrive on careful analysis of all pertinent factors before making any decisions. Their style is naturally systematic and detail-oriented, characterized by the pursuit of logic, predictability and discipline. They tend to stick to the rules and stay within the confines of their orderly world. You tend to take things more seriously and tend to stick more to rules and guidelines. You have an innate ability to stay on task when doing a job. You tend to have a lot of book knowledge, and may have an interest in science or history. People could benefit from your knowledge Rational Mastermind You are introspective, pragmatic, directive, and attentive. As a strategist, you are better than any other type at brainstorming approaches to situations. You are a natural but not an eager leader, stepping forward only when it becomes obvious that you are best for the job. Strong-willed and very self-assured, you may make this decision quickly, as you tend to make all decisions. But though you are decisive, you are open to new evidence and new ideas, flexible in your planning to accommodate changing situations. You tend to excel at judging the usefulness of ideas and will apply whatever seems most efficient in accomplishing your clearly envisioned goals. You do not feel bound by established rules and procedures, and traditional authority does not impress you, nor do slogans or catchwords. Only ideas that make sense to you are adopted; those that don't, aren't, no matter who thought of them. You are highly pragmatic, and they will put forth a great deal of time and effort to implement effective ideas. You are driven to solve complex problems and to create organized, decided, and executed solutions. You tend to make positive statements instead of negative ones, focusing on how to make the organization more efficient in the future rather than dwelling on past mistakes. You are also highly theoretical, and the most open-minded of the 16 role variants. Before adopting a theoretical notion, you insist on researching all the available data and checking the idea against reality. You are suspicious of theories based on poor research and will discard ideas that cannot be effectively implemented. Famous Masterminds include Alan Greenspan, Ben Bernanke, and Isaac Newton.
Sunday, October 24, 2010 I wonder why people can be so stupid sometimes. I ain't very smart but I sure know what stupid is. There are 1000000000 simple, common-sensical rules that normal, common-sensical people live by. 1. If you keep going back on a promise, you ain't gonna keep friends. 2. Even your best friends don't like being taken for granted; what more ordinary ones. 3. 'Backstabbing' happens in your tweenage years. 13-14. Please grow up. What goes around comes around.Last note: I can own the ass out of you if I wanted to. Being insensitive is one thing; being elegantly frank is another. On the bright side, the old man's been subtly suggesting that his coffers are overflowing. Property in UK and US? Shift from district 5 to 10? Well, they're next to each other but it does make a difference. Not forgetting a major-capital tour in 2 yrs.
Monday, October 18, 2010 a whole bunch of negative (but natural) thoughts that won't expire for the next year:I'd rather make friends I don't mind meeting every single week. If I don't enjoy being with a bunch, just don't mind, for the purpose of 'networking' (what a scheming excuse for 'desperately wanting to speak to every high profile person because I wanna be one as well'), it's absolutely pointless. In the next 10 years I would probably forget your name and even if I do remember, my skin ain't 5 inches thick to ask you for favours. Well especially if I ain't rich and influential (which will probably be the prerequisite for you approaching me if I don't). Rich and influential people end up 'catching up' with only their old (rich and influential) friends 'cause, well, it's elitist nature to continue being elitist like that. You realise those from humble backgrounds tend not to cast away their old (non-rich and influential friends) when they do make a lucky break (unless they're born heartless, that is). Therefore I don't exactly intend to befriend (note: 'friend' and 'acquaintance' is different) whoever whose goal is to be rich and influential. Firstly cause you ain't gonna remember I exist once you're sitting high up in your mighty cloud and you can't bend your head any lower. Secondly even if you could somehow manage to crack your neck and stoop down to see your lowly 'friends' living their commoner lives, I wouldn't look up and ask you for anything. If you wanted to throw some cash down, well I might pick it up when you're not looking; but probably not. Well that was quite a far-fetched analogy but that's exactly what I imagine of about 200 of my current classmates in the next decade - sitting in their little tufts of clouds with 10000 attendants to them while they sprinkle some dollar notes to fertilize the bare soil (which they think is bare, but really isn't). Condescending arrogant snobs. It's strange that from the right hand side of this post there's a little information of myself threading through the halls of the best institutions in this lonely land; but well the fact is, to get to each institution I've painfully crawled through the doors right before they were closed on me; and even within the glamourous compounds I'd be the invisible. I know what a layman would say: 'rg, rj, law. fucking elitist, you don't know nuts but books and money. screw off' Well I would say that of my own schoolmates. 'Cause really, it's quite obvious I don't belong there. It's like you put a penny with a gold goblet full of dimes. The dimes look at you like you're alien. And yes, I literally mean I've been looked at as though I was alien. Oh maybe cause I said/asked sth stupid; or I finally spoke (but thats cause I'm trying not to say/ask sth stupid). Goddammit, what the fuck is normal to you? And yes, it's really hard to be normal where I am currently. 'Normal' in BTC was something I'd never think of; not in my wildest imaginations (ok maybe not wildest, since my imaginations are really mind boggling). A seemingly obsessive addiction to school and work and the law. Just those 3 words made me belch. Sometimes I have a violent urge to introduce myself like this: 'Hi, I'm from rg and rj, but I'm stupid. I probably got lower psle scores and gpa than all of you. I have trod on the edge of expulsion. I hate studying. I have a life. I was considered reliable when I was younger but when I stepped into uni somehow I became incompetent. Therefore you can just do the group work yourselves since you're gonna discard my ridiculous ideas anyway. Oh, one last thing, fuck you.' Well I guess it really is queer to hear an rg-rj-law (for god's sake I hate being branded in this way) say sth like that, but I'd say the feeling's very likely worse than being the average in a normal neighbourhood school. Well I know; I've been the bottom the moment I got into rg. That's.. 6 years of my life. If I gave a shit about school I would've committed suicide a long time ago, without doubt. It's only this so-what-if-i'm-last attitude that's got me survive and crawl to each door (gold-platinum-diamond) before it shut on me. Majority of my stupid (EQ) schoolmates get As and Ds and As and Cs and when they get the D or the C it's a universal calamity. Everything's relative ain't it; wouldn't you prefer to drop from canopy to canopy than from an aeroplane to a trampoline 6000ft down and bounce back up and then come crashing down onto hard concrete? That's where you bleed to death, in your mind. At least you had a trampoline; all I got is a stool.
Thursday, October 14, 2010 maybe it was after all my mind's obsession with darkness that i started to think of idealistic plans. nonetheless it makes me feel somewhat more optimistic. if i weren't doing law (i wouldn't if i was rich) i'd prob set up an entire empire of businesses. i'd pursue some singapore-practically-unviable hobbies: photography, fashion design. set up a trance-samba-ambient-lounge bar/club, a humongous dessert shop, extreme sports centre (ramblers, REAL CLIFF climbing, parasailing etc) and whatnot.. and not forgetting an entire pool business to takeover kpool and destroy all other competitors and abolish the notion that such places attract sleaze. ahhh then, of the many multi-million/billionaires in singapore, why wouldn't anybody put their money to such use? developing the entertainment industry.. for the benefit of the overworked populace? prob just too busy holidaying in their private yachts jets spacecrafts.. buying plots of land on mars..Anyone should come to realize that i blabber on this meaningless platform only when i've got too much shit happening in my life that it all needs to be unloaded somewhere. I figure this is the period of time where i can type rubbish every other day. And not because i'm too free; well i'd rather not be, but if i was busy and miserable, sure i wouldn't give a damn about what i'm supposed to be busy with. I could go and look at my archives and the period of time with the least posts would probably be the happiest time of my life. Flawless test. But really, at this moment i've come to realize misery is a bottomless pit. Halfway down suicide could just break the fall. Metaphorically. Oh wait, attempted suicide is a crime? Note: remember to kill yourself cleanly, or die trying. Pun intended.
Monday, October 11, 2010 gosh i just happened to click a link on a funny world cup dive.. and the sound of those vuvuzelas instantly reminded me of the good ol' june-july days. thats only 3-4 months ago but goddammit it feels like years. flashback on getting up in the wee hrs of the morning.. driving to a cc to watch the matches.. driving home.. waking up for work and watching the highlights at work in the morning.. planning my schedule around the next few matches.. sometimes staying back at work till 9pm watching a whole live match online at work (and getting paid for it - too late now - nobody can catch me).. and when the games got more exciting, weekly gatherings at taysong's house. right then it felt like everyone's life revolved around the world cup. and when it was over it just felt like.. getting off drugs. god i can't wait for 2014 now. that's when i get rid of law once and for all. (if i even make it through, that is)
Sunday, October 10, 2010 Decisions decisions decisions.Can't stress enough over it. When i chose nus over smu i was told not to include 'friends' as a factor. Doesn't seem to be right afterall. I don't wanna go back to think about how i decided to end up where i am now; i have no problem (at least not so big) with the crux of the curriculum, but i must say all that i'm aiming for is to have fun in school. I get the feeling people (in btc) wonder how i can consistently not do my work and not give a shit.. well because i really don't. Results are the least of my worries. The ironic thing is results seems to attract people down here (shithole). Which is absolutely revolting. Need to find a reliable person to talk it out with
Friday, October 08, 2010 I can't describe how much I loathe male chauvinists.For that one might call me a chauvinist myself, but they're just jumping to conclusions. We're about empowering women in this age; it's not like I absolutely adore powerful women; I just respect them and their ability to be respected by males themselves (I must say most are inherently chauvinist pigs). And I doubt these women are chauvinists themselves; they're just, capable. The chauvinist ones run organisations like AWARE maybe. I know better about this male chauvinist thing. There's a huge one in my family, there was a huge one who was my classmate. And it is plain obvious to any layman to see/feel the vibe when these people are around women. It's as if they view a woman's role on EARTH as providing sexual services/excitement or simply SERVING - in whatever way they desire. If you let me make some generalisations (unqualified, nonetheless), women (powerful or not) respect men's views. The converse as less evident though. I don't need to go on about how crucial the role of women is (procreation and all); everyone knows that. But my main point is: men can espouse women's rights and all that which seems only prima facie (yes law school shit) noble, but what goes on in their minds, the entrenched mentality that women are somehow or another, inferior, is unclear. What I can guess is that whether consciously or not, men get this feeling they're more equal than women. Animal farm lives on. We're all someone's daughter We're all someone's son How can we look at each other Down the barrel of a gun? You're the voice, try and understand it, Make a noise and make it clear, Whoa-o-o-o! We're not gonna sit in silence We're not gonna live in fear Whoa-o-o-o!
Sunday, October 03, 2010 Forgive, sounds goodForget, I'm not sure I could They say time heals everything But I'm still waiting I'm through with doubt There's nothing left for me to figure out I've paid a price And I'll keep paying It feels like i'm floating in a transition period; Feels good in a way, but it's a temperamental time; Feels lifeless most of the time, feels like solitude in the midst of masses of people On a sidenote, i've got: one i desperately need to shake off one i desperately can't get hold off one i should erase from memory one other who doesn't know It's a sad kinda situation. I'm not ready to make nice I'm not ready to back down I'm still mad as hell and I don't have time to go round and round and round
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escapist but a morose optimist. musings June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 April 2013 May 2013 August 2014 March 2017 through solitude 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 and drab at random blogger box
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