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Sunday, November 23, 2008 I guess the bunch of us are really those who wished so darn hard for a better life. I just believe that if you want something badly enough, it'll happen. I guess thats why we all had a story to tell. Its a weird kind of fate, that we all wanted the same thing so badly, that all our little worlds came together to form a huge one, a really supportive one that I bet I'll be thankful for for the rest of my life. Its weird that from all our different worlds we understood each other so perfectly well, weird that we'd all emerged from a different worlds of disaster and needed a change. And this fate seems so well crafted its left some evidence that it was all so unreal. But this is how it turned out, and I must say its so perfect its hard to believe. It seemed as if fate handpicked us, as if it was what we deserved. I'm so damn glad we're sticking together, I'm so damn glad we recognise this whole wonder, and I'm so damn glad we all expect this to last forever. And for this I couldn't ask for more. Its as if all of us stepped into a whole new world, from once being in a shitload of rubbish to one that is so entirely perfect. We've got the spotlight on us now, and after all those storms I guess the days ahead won't ever turn dark again. I can say I'd wished for this my entire life, for this sort of perfection. The last 4 years I did, and tried to tell myself it was perfect enough, but I knew it wasn't. What I wanted was a huge united group with a crazy amount of spirit and identity and pride. I guess I finally got it. I guess we finally got it.I'm writing this after realizing I'm not the only one who's thankful
Wednesday, November 19, 2008 it's been a long time since I had this feeling. it used to be normal, but now its just super shitty. feel like I'm reverting back to the self I was like 2 yrs ago, just looking to waste myself away, screw up my life as much as possible cause I thought it was more fun. I guess I'm just crazy like that. I need a break, need to feel nostalgic a little
Monday, November 10, 2008 Turtle hides in a shell, weighing the odds of getting hit by a hammer if it should come out and stop being a coward. It might stick its head out getting it smashed the next moment or realise that all the around it had been nice and peaceful. But instead of taking such a risk, it could prepare a shield of sorts. Then it could stick its head out, with a shield, with a possibility of getting hit, but not die in any case. Now this shield building takes lots of time and effort and cannot guarantee protection against every form of intrusion. So what should this turtle do? It can't stay in for very much longer
Saturday, November 01, 2008 Now who would ever want to be kingI said, 'all these years, and you don't even know me.' The reply, 'yes I don't know you, because you never said anything. how was I supposed to know?' Now who wants to guess who said that? One more month, though I've dreaded that day for nearly my entire life. Recently I learnt not to dread it. Recently I found that I'd been wrong, but not for too long. Well I never knew of mental illnesses and I can't identify one, but I guess I'd soon learn. And I'm glad I don't know much about superstition either. I didn't really know how to laugh. Only recently. And I ought to thank the people who taught me. There was really nothing to laugh about last time. They didnt teach me. They didnt think it was necessary. Well I've learnt it a rather important skill. I like to laugh, but you don't laugh in a war. You don't laugh when the rest stare at you with bloodshot eyes. You don't laugh when those around you don't recognise such an action. Thinking back, I settled for something I didnt deserve. They thought I was easy to please. But no, I wasn't ever pleased. I guess I was that cowardly one who refuesed to speak up for anything. I started to fight, having only my bare hands as weapons. How was I supposed to win I had to fight against knives and bullets? I haven't given up, because I know very well what I deserve, and I don't deserve this.
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escapist but a morose optimist. musings June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 April 2013 May 2013 August 2014 March 2017 through solitude 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 and drab at random blogger box
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