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Wednesday, August 31, 2005 goodbye;just thought it'd be high time i die
Tuesday, August 30, 2005 i was stumbling around school today like a lame old hagcouldn't even sit down without the support of arms and i had to walk down the stairs sideways one step at a time spastic! yesterday's weights were quite mad, my thighs are rubber and back muscles are rock HAHA, now how am i gonna do aces day tomorrow? not possible i'm listening to freeeeakin' hyper songs just to lift me up otherwise gravity should take over i'm blocking the bullet but you'll never feel it unless i fall myself right now you're assisting in that
Sunday, August 28, 2005 28 August, 1.11am says it all.welcome to this place; i'm sure you'll hate it tell me what i did wrong; i never asked for all the good i received i never asked for all the evil that hit me mercilessly i might have overlooked my wrong doings but i swear i don't understand why my paths are not my choices maybe it was a precognition; or the inbuilt clairvoyance there was this feeling, that nothing very terrible had happened for a long time neither did anything wonderful appear yet the world must spin negatively straight to me. and so it came true, something hazardous that i thought was speeding down i couldn't stop it so bang, and impact is indescribable unless you comprehend it was all written. i think about my life gone by; how it's done me wrong. there's no escape for me this time, all of my rescues are gone; long gone
Saturday, August 27, 2005 today's a relatively entertaining daywell it started off monotonously at home, but i went out anyway, in the afternoon. met linxi and sherie, got them another free huge sprite + lemon tea, read awhile and we went shopping around. sherie left, linxi and i walked around citylink suntec millenia, marina, bugis. ooh millenia has the huge candy empire, it has the widest range of CANDIES and CHOCOLATES i've ever seen. the wonka bar was nice :) i think i'll be another mike teevee or something. and the millenia roof was super cool too. and then at marina we saw DOMINIC sarron lee with his girlfriend. HAHA. while we were drinking tea. if we weren't we couldve stalked them. :) and then we were making rounds around bugis. finding for a pencil case/wallet for linxi. blahblah then i went for dinner neutral. neutral neutral neutral. i do love that words sometimes, but right now it's a bullet this is beginning to turn out like shit. there's a whole mountain to climb in 4 months, barely.
Thursday, August 25, 2005 In the clearing stands a boxerand a fighter by his trade and he carrys a reminder of every glove that layed him down or cut him till he cried out in his anger and his shame I am leaving, I am leaving but the fighter still remains OMG LA my mum just bought a 4cm by 20cm chapteh like WHAT'S HER BIG PROBLEM MAN. THAT'S HUMONGOUSLY GIGANTIC AND IT'S HEAVY. MY FOOT HURTS. MADNESS la
Tuesday, August 23, 2005 yesterday started off boring to the coreit got worse when i realised i had nothing entertaining to do at home till i discovered some ANCIENT TREASURE just exaggerating. i stole some parts of the ancient treasure, so now i feel bad about it oh well. it CAN be replaced went cycling with sab in the evening to west coast (: quite refreshing, and away from idling at home. AGO - TELL ME WHERE YOU ARE (whoohoo)
Monday, August 22, 2005 I realise like the old folks and the blue grassa calming genre. HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMILY! and have a shopaholic good-time (: i've been immersing myself in books. fiction which tells something. and i really dont mind quitting school altogether and just finding life in all these. afterall it takes the stress away and still helps me in the future, with some meaning in life (: i actually wish i'll stay like that but i doubt it'll last till the next day, when school commences again the monotony, seemingly meaningless as well. why are we all subjected to this? i sound brainwashed there're a zillion thoughts, part of me wishing for a less complex life, and THAT will carry on smoothly without a hitch, and progress, too. but will it? is the question. i feel like burying myself in a graveyard and idling around, if the space is big enough. they'd probably be some company. time for review, now. it's quite sad there aren't any stars tonight, i'd love to just lie around and gaze at the stars, with a blanket. i think i'll read that book again. we can all change lead to gold.
Sunday, August 21, 2005 without a doubt i'm totally IN LOVE with synthesizersgosh the sound is amazing hearing it with mix of electric guitars and bass and drums. PERFECT. a tinge of unrecognisable lyrics in monotone, whoohoo. still the cool tunes (: anyway i heard this band playing synthesizers electric guitars bass and drums at esplanade. went there for supper (: talk about being MESMERIZED by the sound but anyway my mind's racing right now i'm thinking bombs and sadists. and being paranoid but taking only half the effort to care. what the hell am i saying and back to this morning. linxi andrea and i strolled from nat stadium to suntec (: a nice leisurely morning stroll... but i ended up walking that pace for the rest of the day. we took exactly an hour by the way. and blahblah we went to town blahblah linxi left... and i the loner strolled around paragon for who-knows-how-long. coffee is killing me. and i'm hyperventilating for no freaking reason whoo the stella mc cartney collection is nice!
Wednesday, August 17, 2005 we share the last champagne and watch necropolisstill and so let's leave her to her silent walks the sun of Rome is set and our day is gone a kiss a taste of red from your open lips
Sunday, August 14, 2005 You were humming to yourself and softly strumming your guitarI could hear the distant drums And sounds of bugle calls were coming from afar
Saturday, August 13, 2005 you can't hide your lyin' eyesand your smile is a big disguise
Thursday, August 11, 2005 today felt like remedial instead of schoolfirstly i woke up at 715 and thought it was late enough to pon school. right. but i still rushed. and reached there exactly at 730. Godknowshowfastmyfatherwasspeeding, the engine could explode. the side gate wasnt closed. there weren't any prefects around. how retarded is that.and i crawled up the stairs and saw tayyokelan walking down the corridor. HAHA. i was lucky, just zoomed into the class and she didnt see a thing. i was nearly sleepwalking to everywhere today. and i just had to sleep during maths ZZZZ my thighs are aching, my eyes are streaked with red i need another long rest :)
Wednesday, August 10, 2005 today was madnessmy knees are cracking my ankles are frozen BITERACE so there. first, started off at riverlife church at pasir ris (of all places..) our first destination: little india, tekka market, zhu jiao da sha we had to eat roti prata with mutton & curry, without any utensils. so we had to tear the curry soaked mutton, and drink up the curry itself from the plate. that's where we first met our blasted rivals, that retarded group of guys. our second destination: orchard, far east plaza, turkish ice cream. this was one of the most tiring dashes. dashing out of the mrt with the bastards chasing us, not just one group but two. but of course we reached there first (: far east.. obviously the usual hideout. yep so the ice cream was not bad, but those blasted guys eat so bloody fast our third destination: opposite of minimum bad. LOL, MAXWELL. those idiots again proved idiots. so clever us set of for tanjong pagar. those idiots followed us to the bloody market by a stroke of luck they found the place first. and typical sore losers, complained against us for a petty reason. oh gosh. those gays. we ate pigs brain. yes pigs brain. how cool is that. disgusting. white, brainy twirls, and some nerves could be seen. but it tastes a little bitter and squishy. well i just swallowed it (: our fourth station was geylang. beancurd stall. there were two nearly the same stalls. so in the end we SPRINTED from lorong 21-39. great people. just GREAT. but the tau huay was nice (: bonus station, 4 bucks worth of food from ikea. it's so bloody far to ikea from geylang already, and we realised we left the envelope at the beancurd stall so we split and went. after the very swift purchase of food we met them back at paya lebar. the last sprint back to the church was totally nuts. it felt so far our legs ran automatically and poofed. but GREAT, we lost to the blasted guys by a neck. whatever, not like they got an ipod. i'm thoroughly exhausted i should go sleep soon school will be hell tmr
Tuesday, August 09, 2005 happy national day! (:i'm a patriotic citizen hah i went to download the song -.- Let's reach out for the skies With wings we soar up high Our dreams we'll all achieve We'll make our destiny Let's reach out for the skies With wings we soar up high Our dreams we'll all achieve Let's soar and reach for the skies LOL listen:ANTILOOP
Monday, August 08, 2005 today was damn confusingfirst was national day celebrations, nothing much then vanessa and i went back nhps and stoned and did nothing and took a bus back to town then kimberly tho calls to say she's being a loner in ps then sabrina ng calls to meet me in town to take a picture -.- then louis arranges to meet us at ps, and the rest of the pack will come later so, whatever, meet all of them then i'll settle sabrina ng calls to cancel it. great. so vanessa and i meet kim the madcase in ps. she bought a green tortoise and screams that it's cute. and she wore a green shirt. then chang linxi arrives (and i didnt know she would) in a LONG SLEEVED BLOUSE AND THE BLACK FRILLY SKIRT. goodness gracious. kimtho in JEANS and changlinxi in SKIRT. this world has gone topsy-turvy then louis came like 1 min later -.- you see, i'm put in a very difficult position. having to entertain a mad green person, a mad whatever-else person, and two more sane people. but anyway nothing really went wrong we had lunch; kim started her usual on-the-phone-and-nothing-else argument, change of green insanity. (OH yeah. i left halfway to stalk wanlin. SSH.) the madness started like here, when we were waiting at the lift; one green insane person spouting flames, one person disappearing to the toilet for ages, and louis hanging up on everyone, vanessa and i protesting that seven swords is a retarded movie. by that time everyone was like !#$%^&*:"{}!#$! to add to the trouble, sabrina ng had to call and say she was at ps. at the 2nd storey (where we were). at MOS. GOSH. MOS IS AT THE BASEMENT MY DEAR. but anyway. so we just left ps, vanessa louis and i, a quick goodbye to kim linxi sab and rachel. met the pack at cine. lunch. STONED. bought movie tickets to the retarded show to kill time. arcade. heeren, stoned. watched the movie, which was sleepable. (seven swords). i think i forgot the plot. haha i just took into consideration the "good people" and "bad people" rushed off after that to go HOME. because some ass brother doesnt want to wait for me. bet he had some other person........ GRR. and so i wanted to chiong home first to (hopefully) be able to prove him a loser, but anyway i lost it. nevermind we shall win the biterace on wed :) i feel like a loser. bet he was chionging home too la why didnt 200 stall!? this is a horribly long post byebye ohyes, happy birthday xiaohui! (: there're still miles of bloody ground for you to thread on your way out
Sunday, August 07, 2005 i am schizotypal.it's either extraordinary coincidence or plain shit with intention Here's on the street a tear in the seam of pleasure and pain Life carries on a cloak of deceit brings honour to shame But the voice I used to know is the one I can't let go You are the reason; my faith in tomorrow
Saturday, August 06, 2005 Would someone please call a surgeonwho can crack my ribs and repair this broken heart that you're deserting for better company 'I would rather spend one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone'
Friday, August 05, 2005 today in school was terriblebut other than that it's fine we had the weirdest training in school not the workout, but what happened after that i wonder who was the one who went high first must've been andrea, who started the rrrrrrr thing. LOL and nicole tjak...??? thing. and ALL of us just went totally high.. e.g. dancing in the mini amphi, kicking the rock wall double back, and damn linxi said mrs anis came, like wth we jumped metres off the wall.. especially the dance, we did like ndp dance and H20 dance lol and the disgusting cheesy smile like !!!!???? (jermaine and mariel the HILARIOUS kallang wave duo, LOL) we were so engrossed in all this madness, we didnt realise there were more than US at the mini amphi. the mood died down quite suddenly later. well, probably a sudden adrenalin rush wont last. met the j1s at ps, who were naturally walking at snail's pace. charlie and the chocolate factory i didnt really like it, but it's probably because the cinema was too cold. the adaptation from the book was good though. we met william tan at the cinema lift after the show -.- and he started talking to us -.- but anyway. we stoned and had supper after that. we = (ethel , xiaohui, amy, lulu, candice, em, andrea and i) ethel is a big asshole who wants to blackmail me then i went home (: oh yes. track exco'06! (: captain andrea seowww v.capts sherie & joanne honourary secretary shiqian! the trusty treasurer janeee (: (:
Thursday, August 04, 2005 today was like the busiest school day.first 3 blocks were chinese grp pt presentation, followed by chem eoi, and getting hist paper back. and there was amc after school my brains are fried. but thank goodness the dateline of indiv part is extended to mon (: boy was i GLAD. oh. apologies for the previous post which was typed when insane but now there's quite a load off my shoulders. (: yay tomorrow's quite slack, and some fun i ought to have some i swear it's not a coincidence i keep hearing THAT song on class95. in the car, in the kitchen. i'm just fated to hear it like EVERYDAY. which sucks. the white the shoe the hair just one
Wednesday, August 03, 2005 i feel like just flooding this post with expletivesthat chinese pt is a fuckload of worries i can't understand how some people can complain that it sucks and speak so bloody fluently and end up getting full marks. now THAT'S what sucks. if i say something sucks you know i'm a goner at it chem. it's time a buy a dice and put it permanently on my desk. i've LIKE no idea about chemical equations, and the whole world around me says the same thing but gosh hear this: i ONLY got 75! whatever "making us independent learners" is just a bigdamn excuse for hiring USELESS teachers. oh great i'm 100% failing my chinese pt sorry ms zhang it was last minute work its terribly out of point cause my chinese sucks so much you dont even dare call me during lessons. i dont need to apologise to tay yoke lan. my failing has got nothing to do with you. i would do as well without you, so thanks for being a lullabye. and if the teachers really read this i'll laugh my head off. seriously now, fuck that chinese pt hello again. i'm quite happy today. sort of. if there wasnt chinese pt gosh i'd be high. anyway there was IHC today. i missed history lesson again. mrs mak must think i hate her lesson or something. all the blocks that i miss tend to be history (coincidentally) anyway it was some performances. quite entertaining actually. and we had nice food. i like the tarts! oh and i met ass ethel there, with xiaohui. (: no comments. and mugger brother was in the library studying -.- ok.. and so we checked out the food in the canteen and i was crapping with grace about _ _ _ _. HAHAHA. it was super fun. and shiqian was just a bit mad today. better than usual (: and of course, hyperventilating. -coughs overall quite fruitful. OH I FORGOT. kimberly had some luck yesterday thanks to me. lol HAHA more luck will come ((((:
Tuesday, August 02, 2005 i dont know why i started reminiscingmaybe it's cause i heard that song again coincidentally on the radio maybe it's what shiqian told me to do some days back i started thinking about trainings+nats this year. i admit ms zhang's right sometimes, forever repeating that i think about nothing but cck, and linxi's way of saying it: cck withdrawal symptoms i guess it's because of the drop in happiness level, coming back to school and realising that it's just not possible to catch up, especially when those blissful memories were still lingering around in my mind the track; the stands; the PIT; the milo van; and most of all, lot 1. the food court there, our typical hangout, walking around the mall aimlessly, yami yoghurt.. all those seem so far away now what now, flooding of pts tests and assignments. i conclude teachers don't know the meaning of LIFE. maybe except one. i would've prefered a normal type of schooling, preferrably more towards sports, but all this propaganda.. everyone fell for it i'm going for the opening ceremony of house games tomorrow. that sounded like shit to me at first. until i realised something else. yes, i'm going only for one particular reason. some hope, or maybe a wish, to revive some memories, even if it makes me feel bitter. _ _ reminds me of you even the foolscap paper even the shirt, hanging around in my house even some page in the singapore history book maybe even my brother. most of all, that song. (linxi should know best) moving on. kt tunstall's other side of the world. it'd sounded like a very ordinary song to me. but no, it reminded me of those ordinary rj trainings on mon, wed, fri. those ordinary workouts which bored me off, (and i admit)-all my criticisms about the trainings. and ms yu. all might've been sucky. but looking back on all these now, gosh how remorseful i feel now. the rj toilet. it means quite alot to me. we talked there, cried there, put sunblock there, sometimes even stretched there. not forgetting, those scorching afternoons where the heat beat down on us mercilessly. absence does make the heart grow fonder. during those those trainings where it seemed like a chore, warming up and cooling down for two rounds, i wished the days passed faster, looked forward to nationals, ponning school. when the time finally came, it was like trying to stop the car which i was pressing to go faster, but finally giving up, knowing that it would never do so national's 05. it's gone too soon. well, that kt tunstall song also reminds me of the time when muggers kim linxi and i sat down on a simple esplanade bench and started doing work, and repeating the songs-tong hua, other side of the world, behind these hazel eyes. and the snacks we had-chocolate coated strawberries and mrs fields brownies.. i know i'm supposed to be rushing the wretched chinese pt. i know i'm supposed to study chem lest i fail the EOI. but right now, why should i care about these insignificant issues? failure bothers me no more when i think back on these times and the dreams we left behind i'll be glad cause i was blessed to get to have you in my life and this is just nostalgia
Monday, August 01, 2005 hello.it's the 1st of august, 1st training after nationals. we'd some debrief, individual and group then played bball. and anyway i'm sleepy. sheesh stupid chinese pt; chem test
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escapist but a morose optimist. musings June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 April 2013 May 2013 August 2014 March 2017 through solitude 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 and drab at random blogger box
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