Sunday, October 31, 2004
haha so funny. just met a french man on yahoo pool and:that man:bonjour!
me:bonjour
that man: ca va?
me: je parle anglais
that man: moi non
me: [sighs and thinks:oh no..]
that man: [types dunno what french rubbish]
me: je ne comprend pas
that man: y male [which i think he says he's male?]
me: ???
that man: [types dunno what french rubbish]
me: [doesn't answer]
and i won that game. LOLS
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oh mannnn. my pea-brained brother only just got his hotmail acct! wthhhhh!!!
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i'm desperate to talk to - - - -. love you - - - - for always being there. [wow my mood swings are really bad]
ARGHHHHHH!!!!! janessAAAAA!! now i really wanna watch de-lovely and before sunset!!!!! grrr but one's nc16 and e other is m18!!!!! but anyway i've thought of a way to get through even if i don't look like 16 or 18. blearghs- i must watch ittt!!!!! blahahaha. french shows are nice. and most of them have at least some ra stuff in them too!!! [oogles] lols.
oh man. i'd be missing one day of the retarded camp. sheesh i shan't say anymore lest i get cursed. touchwood. i decided i don't wanna die so early!!! ergh must go meet kt. so sick. how can they NOT allow handphones in the camp??? duuuh. i'll just die. and WHY must we bring TOILET ROLLS and ALARM CLOCK? ridiculous!! anyway. hope it'll be at least more fun than i think. ergh gotta packpackpackpackpack.
5.....4....3...2..1. HAPPYYY HALLOOOOOOWEEEEEEEEN!!!!!! bwwwllllarrruuugggahhhh!!!!!
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- - - - those - - - - - - - and - - - - - - - who - - - - - - - / - - - - their - - - - - - - / - - - - at - -. - - - - / - - - - FREAKS
Saturday, October 30, 2004
Saturday 30 Oct 2004a day to remember.
we rushed to sgh weaving through masses of cars. the song playing on the radio was 'the final countdown'. i knew what that meant. it was the final stretch to drive while somewhere nearer the countdown was faster. mom dashed up to blk 5 ward 75 room 22 hdu. but it wasn't quick enough to witness grandpere make his last breath. he was 87yrs.
i know i hadn't spoke much to him. only 'happy new year' or 'happy birthday' or sth lyk that. yes, that was all i said for 13 years. less than 13 times though. the family weren't close to him.
i didn't shed a tear but neither did i enter the hdu. i dint dare to. outside the ward, automated signboards read 'error room 22 bd 6'. i had this thingly feeling what 'error' meant. and i was right. he must've passed away while the song 'the final countdown' was playing.
honestly i do not feel sad for him but for mom. 87 yrs is a long time for a man to live. but for my mom, she hadn't been quick enough to at least hear his last goodbye wishes. later she blamed herself for not being there early in the morning when she'd gone grocery shopping. halfway when she was having lunch at home was when she received the call that a heart was stopping. frantically, she rushed up and we sped to sgh. and that was when i thought, as our hearts were beating faster with each minute, somewhere else, one was getting slower, and slower, till it faded away.
this is a tribute to m.grandpere who has been the support of mom's family when grandmere died only when mom was 5. it has been a long journey but i guess everyone's still got to experience this sometime. and for some reason which is yet to find out, this day is chosen. adieu, and may peace be with you anywhere in heaven.
Friday, October 29, 2004
oh i forgot janessa asked me to write sth nice about her. okay.janessa is a (this is so like a testimonial).. nice senior. [1st pt] she is careful when talking to ppl so as not to offend anybody in any possible way, which also makes her a very polite girl. [evidence + elab] one example is when someone says sth which is by right quite irritable, she keeps quiet and does not say that it is *whatever expletives* until the person goes too far. [example + elab]
janessa is also a very friendly senior. [2nd pt] i remember clearly she was the first senior who came up to me to say hi and made me feel like i hadn't stepped into hell afterall during the first trng day. and so i'd tagged along everywhere with her so i wouldn't feel stranded. and i think i followed her nearly everywhere like a dog. [evid + elab + example]
i won't have a counterarguement 'cause this is supposed to be all-good. EEEERGH. what rubbish have i been saying. just ignore all the brackets yeah and read the rest.
yes janessa this is specially for you. =D and for being around all the time before eoys (the period of ultimate depression). haha that time it seemed like i was bumping into you nearly everywhere in school. and i am glad. i guess these coincidental times came for a reason. so that i wouldn't end my life so early. =D
today is my belated & beloved chocolate day. got back idioticly lousy results today and was hit blow after blow with extremely unsatisfactory results. ergh. could nearly cry. but anw i dont believe i passed my chi orals! that teacher must've been really x10000 nice!! haha.
and then we finished so late at 2 sth.. i was STARVING. and my heart couldnt stop beating coz of heavy feeling from e results and being HUNGRY!!! and so i decided to get chocs to cool myself down and make me a lil happier. ate 2 bars and one m&ms at one go, thinking that i'd have a lousy home-cooked lunch which might be instant noodles. but i was SOOO wrong. haahah!! yaay here comes the nice part! yayers.
and my father fetched me and halfway down the road he decided to drop by hrc and we ended up there. hahaha. no instant noodles! and got a tiny lil bit of shopping! i realised that shopping with my father is better than with my mom. no complains no criticism (about any price) no NAGGING to hurry up. yeah so now i'm really bloated and it's already 6. i wont have dinner then.
drama nite later. crap! got the class t shirt. so horribly plain but at least the dimensions are fine. sigh. i'm gonna miss si results and survivor. bleargh-
Thursday, October 28, 2004
-pulling the trigger into my head-the greenish side is taking over me. making me a useless desperado. i'm trying to stop it in vain. why can't i just pull the trigger and end all the pain? but yes i agree with em that it's not very nice to die at this age. reasons:
1. miss ppl (but will i even remember them in heaven, in the first place?)
2. haven't lived life to the fullest (like helping the needy. i must go to africa soon..)
3. haven't finished spending all my money chillin'. (what's the use of enjoying when you're gonna die?)
4. confessions to some ppl. (not much of them though..)
5. a snogaton (LOLS. yeah but it MUST come before dying, and recently i've been craving hopelessly and ridiculously for it. total nuts)
6. a shagaton (as of above)
7. travelling 'round the world (but that's not possible.. at least to every country on the planet)
huh yeah there're so many other reasons to name.. i'll just stop there. nvm. shan't get depressed. -trying to make myself happier.....-
i realised ronan keating is quite cute. haha.
i did nothing today except reading 3 mags thoroughly and listening to music as well as playing liero.
[you're not worthy of my time]
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LINXI can you just stop spreading all the hell crap i told you? i TOLD YOU first and for a reason, because i did trust you but this is sheer irritating me k. i'm very fumed.
and i've gotta say it now once and for all, why the heck am i ALWAYS the victim of backstabbers liars and just pure DEVILS? now it's proven that i've less choices to trust. i know i should just trust me myself and i but really, noone can live w/out having at least a lil support from a friend. right now i can't get one. that's why i'm tearing apart and falling in every direction.
Wednesday, October 27, 2004
just talked to ethel and i dont know why but that heavy feeling in me is back. it's already after the exams. and JUST WHAT am i doing? stoning at home! btd shit. p6 was much more fun i can say.. at least going to school but twas happy and contentment. playing poker.. all kinds of games.. now we're going back to school for? CRAP!yes emily is right shouldnt die so early but i so do feel lyk commiting suicide. just now i was just hanging on to my last strand of having NORMAL feelings and now the strand is broken. lyk a straight line which finally drops. dont even feel lyk doing anything. not even reading magazines or blogging or going online or shopping. i just wanna talk to smb. i've said this for the fifth time. SICK. where that person REALLY listens and at least does sth, anything to make me happy. not saying anything would be fine too. just smb where the shoulders are empty to lie on.. ohwells but i cant.. not now when i'm at home.
another thing that's really bothering me is that i'm so broke. and i gotta get sth so much! and i gotta go on a shopping trip too. sigh. dec hols gonna be boring. trngtrngtrng that's all.. and a chalet and probably an overseas trip. but that's all. ergh. maybe life aint that beautiful as i thought
i'm SOOO tired!!!!!!!!!! after netball trng. arghhh what's it gonna be like during net carn?? worst!! but i dint warm up. yeah i guess that's why. won 102 lost to 104. and realised that my stamina is PATHETIC. can only last 'bout lil more than 5 mins? -of vigorous jumping about trying to block ppl. and dodging ppl to give them a headache (haha)- but i managed to last the last game throughout! yaaaaaaay. and after that felt lyk my muscles were so tight!!! and later went to play bball with simmy jiacong and sammy. ah haha. bball's so much nicer to score! sigh. wish WA only needed to cover one-third of the court instead of two. humph. then i went home and i'm so TIRED. shall see if i can tahan. anyway dere's no school tmr so lets no waste the precious minutes of my life SLEEPING.
Tuesday, October 26, 2004
helphelphelphelpHELP in going totally NUTS. the stupid camp briefing yesterday was hell boredom. argggghhhhhh. i'd even say the planning part outside was bedda. gosh. crazycrazy. SHERIEE!! how're we gonna last the camp? erghhh!! and because of THAT. i'm going to miss two netball trngs! wth!! 'bet netball's gazillion times more fun now [yeah yanhan..].i'm so BORED. and stressed. after exams still want to stress me.. huh. argh die. wth.
oh and today the no-brains prelim dnite round was useless. of course we wouldnt get in. my class is good for nothing except being guai. crap. 105 is so nice and crazy. ergh sigh. HOLS IS DISASTER. i need someone to talk to again. hell why am i saying this over and over again? fine 'just talk myself around then.
Monday, October 25, 2004
i thought of my favourite oldie song even though i'm not quite into oldies.. but this one's really nice.. yeah and this is the chorus.'Cause m' baby goodbye
doesn't mean forever,
let me tell you goodbye,
doesn't mean we'll never be together again,
If you wake up and i'm not there,
I won't be long away
'cause the things you do
my goodbye girl
will bring me back to you.
david gates has a really good voice.. yeah and this song was on my mind this whole day anyway.. so there. now TO THE POINT. okay we went out after the ridiculously STUPID briefing of the leadership camp. i agree i really shouldnt have joined. what crap. couldve slacked and played netball. duuh. sighhhh. maybe it'll turn out fun.. and it's damn near my house. ok sabby's house is nearer i guess.
and after the PRINCIPAL'S address which was overtime by dunno-how-much we FINALLY got out.. singyean sab sherie shiqian christine and me went to nydc and halfway to the busstop it just suddenly rained la. so sickening. and christine was lyk HURRY UPping me.. and dint care whether the umbrella smelt of detergent or not. so anyway we got drenched because there was only two umbrellas. haha and there's lyk 2 categories we could slit ourselves in.. b div and c div, hadley and tarbet. we chose the b div c div one. hahaha.
yes we finally got to nydc where janessa had been waiting for one hour plus? hahaha thanks janessa for waiting!! [hugs] and yeah we nearly dint recognise her. thenthenthen we ate yeah.. ok and this woman in the toilet was lyk telling us how she was walking in the nice sunlight and it suddenly rained and she said she was very shocked.. and she was drying her shoes.. hahaha. had an accent and was probably from another country la to not experience it before.... but she was quite nice! =)
yep and then christine and vania went shopping and shiqian followed for a while but said that following them shopping was lyk the most boring thing ever.. yeah so she came with us after a while.. yup. and went home. so saddd!!! got the tickets at cine.. walked around.. met candice.. took neoprints.. hahahahahaha. met that FAT woman at the neoprint counter again. stoopid idiotic freak. if she'd recognised me and said anything more i'd just wham her face to bits. hahahah yeah.
and then we got to the movie. hahah white chicks was funny!!! heehee e last part wif e romance was sweet!!!!! and it's sorta 'bout bitchy ppl also.. ahhhhh 'will be watching more bitchy ppl later at atm. but anyways.. ok janessa was so amused and we were leaning so much lyk we're having a fight with hands!! hahaha but the makeup dint make sense. but ok the movie did finish but wasnt as amusing as i thought. at least i'd sth bedda to do than staying at home..
so we took more neoprints after that. hahaha. this one was much nicer! hahah! and we went home.. blahblah.
going to school tomorrow AGAIN. bleargh. haha ok i dint do any props i'm supposed to do today. had no time anyway. so there. will not practice on netball either. i'll just do self trng la. ah well. oh ya. i got damn bad news from sab but sigh. i was too tired that time i was just awwing away but felt really really sad and worried. oh man. i'm gonna cry if it really happens. not esp please. oh well nobody believes i have esp eh? so what nvm. i know i've deja vu-ed more than 50 times already and the impact is really significant. can predict really well too. sigh. its actl very scary. i dont care if nobody believes. i'll just believe in myself. coz i just hate impersonators backstabbers and liars. crap. this is out of point. oh well dun feel lyk blogging anymore.. so TIRED!!! ergh. byebye..
Sunday, October 24, 2004
falling..... down to hell, where emotions is never the word.i'm finding someone best to sort out problems. yet i must be really careful because many ppl give gazillions of wrong advice.
ah. let me think. i found two people. i must get to them real soon.
i'm also glad that my title cant be seen. it's horribly personal. yeah.
i'm hating the nights. for three nights in a row i've been feeling horrible. yet in my mind i trying to think that i'm happy.
but none can take away that heavy feeling in my heart. i should seriously go to a psychiatrist. my sanity hangs by a thread.
i'm going somewhere peaceful in trondheim in my mind. take me there countryroads..
read the straits times lifestyle section on drugs. and thought that ketamine might do me good. but then i thought of the quintillion amt of side effects. sigh. chocs might help.. maybe
i shall blog about yesterday night. i was online and then my father switched off e connection SUDDENLY. and so i was horribly pissed la and went up to demand it on. and he IGNORED me and i turned it on myself and he scolded me in a DAMN IRRITATING manner so i was fumed and just ran down the stairs outta e house non-stop even though he kept calling me back. i just TOTALLY lost control of my emotions and my legs were working faster than my brains and i really couldnt think the best thing to do.. so i just ran out got my bike and cycled away. it was 12 midnight. i dint know at all it was so late.. thought it was about 9 only.. went to springwood park and the playground by a wide alley by the canal.. jumped around for a while trying to get over being scared by being ALL ALONE in that park.. and then i kept thinking about 'the ghost' movie about e haunted playground and i couldnt stand it so i just sat on a bench with a shelter and thought about things.. i dint bring anything.. if i'd brought my phone i'd have felt much better.. but anyways.. sat there for quite long and twas really eerie with footstep-like sounds everywhere.. i kept thinking they were ghost coming towards me step by step but wasnt THAT scared cause i dont really believe in them anyway. so i just sat there.. and then i saw this lizard and of course when there is nth around and you see sth you'll be afraid but i dint like lizards crawling around so i got up by instinct and rode around and thought of ppl who could give me a night's stay but it's really humiliating. and so i decided to sorta go home and face e consequences. blahblah. rode around yeah.. dint wanna go home so early.. and went i rode past the park again the LAMPS WERE OFF AND THERE WAS PITCH DARKNESS. and i was lyk: omgod if i'd sat there for just a while longer it wouldve scared the damn daylights outta me so i was very lucky i thought. i still dint know what the time was. thought twas still 9 sth.. then i decided to go home and coincidentally met my maid trying to find me. if i hadnt past by that area for just a few seconds longer she wouldnt have spotted me la. but SO she screamed at me and anyway i wanted sorta to go home so i just followed her duh.. got home. slipped into the living room. saw the clock which said 12-forgot-what-time-already and i thought the clock was spoilt. then i went into the kitchen and it said 12 sth too. so i was lyk.. omg i had absolutely no idea twas so late.. and the lights must have switched off around 12 midnight la.. oh man. SUPER FREAKY. ah well. and then a got a damn long prep talk by my father till 1 sth and i nearly died of sleepiness ONLY listening to someone blabbering away.. when he finally stopped i whamped into my bed and FINALLY slept yeah.
and so this is partly for sherie, whom i was talking to when the internet connection shut. ah well.. are we still trng on wed? gotta confirm!!
Saturday, October 23, 2004
ohgod please help me why am i going so crazy in emotions? i go depressed at night. EVERYTIME. feeling so lonely.. my brother's not back for a day already. what'll it be lyk in 2 years? pain and suffering. yes he might be an irritable bloke but it's just so different w/out him. and it's not just missing him. so many others whom i cant ever get to. yet i know it's never impossible. oh yes i finally teared. JANESSSAAA!! i need you tonight again or i'll die of sadness..let me cry and not keep my sorrow
will they open their eyes and realize we are one
if you keep on taking.my heart you'll be breaking.so why do you do this to me.you know how i'm feeling.it's you a believe in.baby can't you see that i need you
(you know that it's true)
everytime i see your face i miss you lady.i wanna let you know you're driving me crazy.i'd do anything to help you to see.i don't think you understand what you're doing to me.every now and then i wanna call you lately.i send a prayer that you'll come back to me lady.life ain't anything alone can't you see.you're an angel in my eyes.everyday you're closer to me
discover what candy you are @ quiz me
i'm so bored i'm gonna taking soooo many quizzes. haha that's soooo sweeet! hahah yaaay actl. luv ya all!!
discover your jack-o-lantern face @ quiz me
ahahah. EHHHH!!! that reminds me that halloween is in 8 DAYS!!! everybody remember that halloween's commingggg!! yaaaaaayyyyyy!!!
LOLS. i guess it's 'cause i'm kinky.. hahahaha =)
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whahaha. no comments!
i hope none of the sec 4s are reading this. oh well i just thought of my p6 grad song which is in chinese (of course.. cause its chi school duh).. and well maybe i can write it in that book emily bought right! anyways we gotta fill it up soon yeah! gotta think of stuff to write. and yep so this chinese song is quite meaningful. and i'm gonna put it in hanyu pinyin so the idiotic weird characters wont come out if there's no chinese software. oh and THANKS huihui for taking the effort of helping me type it out!!! haha!
zong yu hai shi zou dao zhe yi tian
yao ben xiang ge zi and shi jie
mei ren neng qu dai ji yi zhong de ni
he na duan qing chun sui yue
yi lu wo men cheng xie shou bing jian
yong han he lei xie xia yong yuan
na huan xiao rong yao huan yi ju shi yan
ye ye zai meng li xiang yue
fang xin qu fei yong gan di qu zui
zui yi qie wo men wei wan cheng the meng
fang xin qu fei yong gan di hui bie
shuo hao liao ze yi ci bu diao yan lei
oh man. i wonder if anybody even know what this is. (except nhps ppl yeah) anyways..
|
haha why am i a monkey! hahah
janesssaaaaaaa!!!!! huh so mean to trick me!! called me and i recognised her voice but it was private no.. and she said she was 'jacelyn'? wtthhhhhhhhh!!!! and i was so blur la. when finally i asked if it was janessa. and she started giggling away. erghhh. thought it was some prank or what. horrible saiw!!!
but anyway, since you asked me to write something GOOD about you i shall.. hmph. janesssaaaa was so sweeett yesterday to help me out wif depression! and forced me to go to bed! and played a prank on me so i finally laughed! hahahaha thankieees! =D and ohwell.. since you went online when NOBODY was there and kept me company yeah! nice nice NICE janessa seniorrr!
is that enough? hmm twas quite sincere too! mmf. =D
O.O......DONT LOOK AT ME LIKE THAT!!
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so cuuuuteee!!! hahahah i chose 'need a REALLY big hug'
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always lived my life alone.been searching for a place called home.i know that i've been cold as ice.ignored the dreams,too many lies
there's gotta be more meaning to my life.. just can't seem to find it.. thanks janessa but i woke up and felt a lil better before the burden was back. yet i dont know what's bothering me
Friday, October 22, 2004
ok i'm really going mad. i'm really ** **** **** **** ***!!!!!!! goodness gracious me. nutsnutsnuts 'bout! and hhaha i just realised jeff probst is really quite good looking. hahaha. oh no...... not again.anyway yes this is my forth entry for e day but OUCH i pulled another muscle eghhhhhh!!! on my wrist!! grr must be carrying that around-7kg-booksbag for too long.. huh.
[yawn] i'm slleepyy
wtF. that was inhumanly ridiculous. how in the living dead world did maia get out? [slaps head till there's a hole] goodness gracious me. i wasnt THAT surprised coz if they could kicked the BEST singer (who is jeassea) out the s'pore idol might have just been jerry. and then it'd be apocalypse and armeggedon. and.. oh well i wouldn't be living.
corpse. i'm angry sad depressed frustrated. TOTALLY BORED. but i havent the faintest idea why. whywhywhy?
life.
what is life w/out being happy? but that's how im feeling.
and i got absolutely no idea why. feel lyk i've got no emotions. feel lyk i wont ever adapt to any change. why cant they for christ's sake make e after-exam activities simple? lyk we can resume e april-may-june-july days.. just that play instead of study? crap i really feel lyk dying. i need someone to talk to. blahblahblah. and i want trng to start. NORMAL trng. coz i just got this damn feeling it's gonna be totally more rubbish than eating vermins. trust me. trng's gonna suck. i'll just go work myself. bring me to life. at least this time. duh. i'm off to trondheim
sexy naughty bitchy me! hahah i'm just listening to tt song..
ANYWAY LETS PARTYYYYYYY!!!!!! ENDA EXAMSSS!! YOOOHOOOO!!!! hahah after exams felt even more depresssed. but FOR THE FIRST TIME i'm confident of my MATHS!!!! yeeeaaahaahhhh!!!!!
it's so boring. i want trng! shall go for a run today maybe.. hmm. i've thought of one person i can run wif. but she's so lazy. nvm.
anw after school went to toa payoh wif anZEEEE and (hahah) simjoo wenyu jiahui joyce VALERIEEEEE!!!! HAHAHAHA sherie y'know VALERIEEE right? hahahahahhaa. anw we walked miles and MILES b4 reaching that place. i was carrying at least 7kg of book from my locker too laaa!! ergh. and met many problems but we overcomed all out obstacles! [in a sarcastic tone] YAAAYYY!!! and we just popped there for about ten minutes and went back. and THAT'S the WTH part. yeah. waited for my fatherrrr to fetch me from somewhere at e bus interchange and at e bus stop there was this think-i'm-so-sexy girl who was wearing a HORRIBLY short tee and lyk baring 10cm worth of her back lahhhhh. and her jeans was damn low and anw i dint really care. bleargh.
and then i got home and i'm here.
aww i wanna traintraintraining! agh i'm getting fat yknow. dont wanna be an american idiot! hahaha yesh i like this songg!!! whoooooopieeeeeee!!!
oh yeah and i got 32half 'pon 35 for chem! yaayyiieeeee!!!! hahahahah. i admit i'm bragging. blahblah. hahah!! 2nd in class for chemmmmm!!! whoooopiee. hahah at least that pays for being last in class for chi and eng. wdv. hahahah yaay. i love sciences! hatemaths. and languages. dont mind humanities. =)
Thursday, October 21, 2004
i'm going nutsnutsnutsnutsnuts totally nuts over smb. omg stopstopSTOPPPP!!!! help meeee!!!!! i'm gonnaaaaa dieeeee. i'm trying to hopelessly convince myself duh. sigh. let it go awaaaaaayyy.sigh. why do i feel lyk crying. bcoz it's maths tmr? yeah i'm gonna fail maths. just got back results so far. lowest in chinese and eng and wth i'm gonna be lowest in maths too la. screwed my hist and geog up. plus chi of course. why can't i finish my paper EVERYTIME mariette ong is invigilator? she's jinxed. gottabegottabe. (a superstar).. [by jamelia!]
i need someone to talk to but i've wrecked my brains and still cant find a suitable one. some will just say i'm crazy and not care or some will get so hyped up and surprised. wth. OH YESSSSS. i finally thought of someone. hmm but that person's veryvery lil time. argh. i'll just talk to myself.. whoo this also reminds me of e song i used to be crazy over.. ahhhh 'talk to me' by smash!!. yay.
i'm not happy today. sad? dunno why either. shall just stick myself in a corner and kick tennis balls. and a softball. and a sepak tekraw ball. whywhywhy am i feeling so depressed. and i saw that 'fight depression' ad on tv and i thought twas just the right time to put that on.
oh gosh did yall see florence lian's hair? cool! hahah i dont really care actl. just that it was the most catching stuff i saw. except for you-know-who. right linxi? erghhhh bedda not let the whole world know k idiot. i only told YOU la. grrrr. it's true. HELP MEEEE!!! i'm going nuts. i'm talking to myself. arhhhh.
i want christopher out! tho that robbie williams song was BETTER than last week's pathetic performance. bleargh. oh and luckily he dint sing 'eternity'. otherwise i'll commit suicide already. that song carries one of the most memories in my life. lots of songs do. 'the way' by clay aiken.. obvious by westlife.. come clean by hilary duff.. say it isnt so by gareth gates.. all those songs dian azmoon lyked to sing sooo much. ah. why? i dunno. did i not say.. i run away from these songs. coz i dont want those good memories to come back to me. good times make you cry sad times make you laugh. that's why. one day i'll conquer these memories. but it'll still be a way of thinking about the wonderful past.. if i feel lyk crying. coz i dont lyk reminiscing y'noe. makes me veryveryvery sad. and feeling nostalgic will be lyk emotional disaster to me. yeah. anyway.. this's the first time i've said this to anyone especially in a blog. blahblah. oh anyway. taufik. YEAH!!! i love USHERRR!!! hahah he dint sing it nice though. whatever.
go taufik! hahaha and maia. her song was good! hahah got it on my com! yay. ob-ject-tiionnn!! go latin dances! yooohooo!!! i dun lyk olinda! but otherwise i'm very neutral. olinda wore a dress. ok. dint really bother me. and yet i acted so hyped up to my blabber-so-much-crap-and-nonsense of a brother. can't he just FOR ONCE shut up? doesn't know the meaning of PEACE. ohmygoodness i'm becoming a hippie. whoooieeee i'm a hipppieeee!!! LOLS. told ya i'm mad. peacepeacepeace we need PEACE in the world! PEACE! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHA. omg. can someone, anyone please bring me to woodbridge?
and does anyone notice i blog everyday during the eoys? although i'm not the only one. pro me. hahah. care maths. is there anything to study for maths? just practice. and one day of last min practice wont help one bit. so why not just cool down (for me) and TRY to be happy? and probably relax a lil if i can and dream about things that if i BELIEVE, will come true. let it be. i hope...
my brother's such a pain. dun guys understand ANYTHING except for MONEY? stinky vermins. [taken from mov] 'i would my brother hearsed at my foot with his valuables in his hands and dollar notes in his coffin!' okay i dont mean it. really. though he's still THE sickening no-brainer. and heartless creature.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
i've learnt that miracles DO happen. and it happens when you feel desperate and least expect it. it happened on me today. and i can only be thankful. life is beautiful sometimes yeah. i stumbled upon a miracle and yet another one. touching.. happy.. it was already there some time ago but i never noticed it. never really CHECKED it out. until today. i'm feeling.. so happy i'm gonna cry. love yall who made it come true. a once-in-a-lifetime. [hug] yes i finally understand. what it's gonna be like. sad.. well if nobody understands what i'm typing here i do because i wrote it on my title only i can see it. if only i could really tell someone i trust. but i cant find one. sigh.
Tuesday, October 19, 2004
解铃还须系铃人 <--- this is a chinese proverb if you cant see it(jie ling hai xu xi ling ren)
and i guess this is just part & parcel of life
but at least i gained experience, though it wasn't free. what more can i say? life ain't a breeze but i won't ever run away from crisis. there's always a more suitable time to die isn't it? and i just found out someone who loves life. [bows down to you]
and anyway i screwed my chinese paper 2 up so badly the chance of failing is 99.9%. i bet my life on it. I DONT CARE ANYHOW. chinese sucks so what's the use? hist tomorrow. just realised that studying hist is like reading a bestsellers books. studying chinese is like cutting urself slowly on the wrist.
as you can see, i've got such pathetic mood swings it's darn obvious on my blog content. crap you i just thought of my most hatred person.
Monday, October 18, 2004
I'M HYPER OFF THE MOOOOONNN!!!! YEAAAAHHHHHHH!!!! WHOOOOHOOOO I'MM CRAZZZZAEEEEEEE!!!! HAHAHAHAHHA ON THIS FINE EOY DAY!!! it's chinese tomorrow!! i dont CAREEEE!!!!!! WAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHAHA!!!!!! WAS BOUNCING UP AN' DOWN ROUND AN' ROUND MY ROOOOMMM!!!!! LET'S PARTTTAEEEEE!!!!!!!hahahha i must have ate too much chocs just now during lunch! hahah my father came to pick me up and said he'd gimme a treat and we ended up in shangri-la hotellll!!! YEAHHHYYHHHH!!!!!!! brownies tarts chocs icecreeeeammmm EVERYTHIN' YUMMMMMYYYYY ON EARTHHHH!!!! YOOOOOHOOOO!!!!! I'M MAD MAD MAD OFF MAAA BRAINNNN!!!! UPSIDEDOWN BOUNCIN' OFF THE CEILIN'!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BRING IN ON!!! GETTTT DAAAA PARRTAEEEE STARTEDDD!!!! YEAHHHIEEEE!!!!
i don't care even iff i wrote outta point for today's english compo!!!! it's ovarrrrrrr!!!! yipppeeeeeeee it's chinese next bleargh but YEAHHHH let's partyyyyy FIRSTTTT!!!
hahahah i was even dancin' to the 'hey mickey' songgg!!! HHAHAHA I'M SOOOOO NUTSSS!!!! I LOVE CHOCOLATEEEESSS!!! I'M GONNA EATEATEAT MORREEEEE CHOCS!!! I LOVEEEYYY DOVEEEYY BEING HYPPPPEERRRRR!!
Sunday, October 17, 2004
if god is the devillife is the bloodshed
love is heartbreaker
you are the poison
the nut-cased people of 101 has come up with a mr fuzzywuzzy(mfw) logic. here are some examples:
mfw likes john kerry but not george bush
mfw likes fantasia barrino but not diana degarmo
mfw likes brocolli but not cauliflower
mfw LOVES jennifer anniston AND brad pitt
mfw likes snoopy but not charlie brown
mfw likes hoobastank but not 'the reason'
mfw likes football but not rugby
just wondering if anyone besides onions can understand this logic.. it makes sense though. very interesting. oh hell i'm going crazy. totally.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY EMINEM! hahhahaha
ONE DAY TO EOYS
gotta mugmugmug argghhhh
_______________________
i dont wanna close my eyes
i dont wanna fall asleep
'cause i miss you babe
and i dont wanna miss a thing
every time i dream of you
the sweetest dream will never do
i still miss you babe
and i dont wanna miss a thing
Numetal... You make some good stuff! The other
genres don't really like you but you reach the
masses with your touching lyrics... Just
remember it isn't all about fame...
What genre of rock are you?
Saturday, October 16, 2004
WOW U KNOW ALMOST AS MUCH AS ME! WILL YOU DO ASWELL WHEN I EXSTEND THE QUIZ.. plz rate 5 and
find out if you are a true master on 'lotr,
tfotr' ....
yay i'm good at lotr! hahaha
oh i suddenly think dick lee is cute.. but he's 47 years old alrdy! looks lyk 20 sth actl.. sigh too bad.. hahaha aw man i'm nuts. help meee!!! i went crazy over dick lee!!! i'm nutsnutsnuts. oh yes i ate almond and raisin tart today and ferrero rocher with hazelnuts. nowonder i'm nuts. and yesterday i used markers to colour my fingernails bimbotic hot pink orange lilac vermillion and blue. ohgod i'm losing my sanity. HELP!
and anyway hanson rocks! hahahaha i lyk their voices. and ryan seacrest and heinz south africa and jeff probst from survivor! great now i'm THAT crazy 'bout cute guys? oh bleargh i'm crazyi'mcrazyi'mcrazy and i know it. hey sherie! mark chay isn't cute! no! hahah oh ya taufik batista is handsome. i voted for him. he sings well too what. and FINALLY that idiotic-looking jerry is out. if he stayed i wouldnt watch the show anymore. what a FAKE smile!
i hate maths. i hate maths i hate chinese i hate chinese i hate english i hate english i hate history i hate history. but i don't hate geog. thanks to my wonderful brother. very good convincing skills eh? i'm CRAZY! i used to hate geog soooo much! and nearly everyone hates geog what. in my class. they lyk lit. i don't mind lit anyhow.. it's 2 days to eoys [shivverrrr] but getting 2.0 isn't that hard. ok unless i get zero. wdv.
why can't i download the CORRECT song from hanson? stupid emule. kill the moose. huuh. donkey is cute! i'm donkey i'm usher i'm tigger i'm winnie i'm gimli i'm patty peanuts i'm NUTS and i can donkey-pop! [thcharkkk!!] (hahahaha) HI FIVE BROCOLLI PELICAN! whooohoooo i've got such retarded mood swings i honestly think i qualify for IMH. bring me there! anyone?
anyway how nut-case i am now, i've still got - this bit of sanity left. so all the best everyone for eoys! i'll just aim to get to sec 2. that's enough yea. bleargh. that's me. i cant wait for trngs to start too! not xcountry though.. madness. okay i'm off. might be back for more nonsense..
signing off.. woodbridge patient
p.s woodstock is SOOO CUTE! lols. and stitch too! (from lilo and stitch) =D
feeling terrible again. and since yesterday. deprived of fun. even now. and anyway yesterday was national grouch day. but today's no excuse. having problems everywhere.. and my brother's exams are over. he's out and i'm home.. dying. iwannadieiwannadieiwannadiediediediediediediediediedie it's a saturday yet it feels lyk a weekday school holiday. [screams] jumpjumpjump out of the window
i love eamon. ohyea just got it playing.. suddenly felt happy for a moment
still i don't want you back
Lord of the Rings, - With the help of his friends
and alies, Frodo embarks on a perilous mission
to destroy the one ring. Hunting Frodo are
servants of the dark lord, Sauron, The rings
evil creator. If Sauron claims the ring middle
earth is doomed, eventually the fellowship
break apart and Frodo and Sam carry out this
quest while the rest of the fellowship (apart
from Boromir who dies) try to buy Frodo and Sam
some time, Frodo and Sam follow gollum who
betrays them and takes the one ring,
unfortunatly gollum falls into the volcano and
is destroyed along with the ring, Middle earth
is safe and everyone lives happily ever after..
HAS SOME HOT ATCTORS IN .. e.g. - Viggo
Mortensi, (aragorn) it is a timeless classic
based on tolkiens master peice... AND YOU GOT
IN IT .. *GO YOU* please rate
LOTR/POTC/Teentitans/Beyblade/Yugioh! - where do you belong?
Friday, October 15, 2004
i suddenly feel horribly depressed. loneliness. there's nobody online. at least, no one whom i truely trust. anw. it's so disappointing of me to know such ppl. shouldn't be disappointed in that person because he/she won't change just lyk that. and i've unfortunately met 98% of ppl who are lyk tt. oh wells.. why do ppl always think i'm innocent and immature whatsoever? well let THEM think what they want but i'll believe in what i do. anw who says juniors can't think complex? i can say this batch of sec ones are one of the most practical ones. out of the gazillion of retarded backstabbers. it's always ME. who get it. adieu, tears exihibit my tongue. i guess only one person will understand this seemingly rubbish paragraph truely. oh man. i'm going crazy. rgs sucks track sucks teachers suck 101 sucks everything is a hell of a memory that for me time will never erase because of esp. oh well. just my luck being born with esp. it might come in useful some day. one day. i'm not studying and that's final. i dont care whether i get kicked out of this sickening school or not since it's hell. right? [whole class nods in agreement]you cant hide your lying eyes
and your smile is a big disguise
thought by now you'd realise
there aint no way to hide your lying eyes
and that was specially dedicated to some person who made my life topsy-turvy. but there're many others though i just have to accept that everyone has such a huge flaw somewhere. the only way to get rid of this is dying isn't it? or living in isolation.
I DON'T CARE WHATSOEVER ABOUT WASTING MY LIFE ON MUGGING
Seen a lot of broken hearts
Go sailing by
Phantom ships lost at sea
And one of them is mine
I hear the voices call
Following footsteps down the hall
Trying to save what's left
Of my heart and soul
------------------------------------
lets be rebellious.
i got a salope et salaud on my putain back with no apparent reason. wtF
for the third time this dumpneck school is nth but a fakers heaven
i'm outta here you holeless bredders
Tuesday, October 12, 2004
today is soo sickening i darn want to blog 'bout it. just came back from unfinished d&t and realised tt i've to stay back loads more times coz i havent finished at all! what crap. and i dunno a single thing 'bout spray painting. rubbishrubbishrubbishrubbishrubbishRUBBISH! and i'm pissed with everybody. rs: they made us stay back w/out telling us b4hand tt the sl presentation was gonna be longgg!! and we stayed back and damn half and hour. sorry but i'm EXTREMELY IRRITATING with this obnoxious school and syllabus. havent continued mugging yeah still stuck at geog. crrrraaaaaaappp
Monday, October 11, 2004
[this is the 100th entry! =)]I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name
For what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me
it's com studs now and we're supposed to do a portfolio. wth. and my class is gettin reall weird. everyone is listen to pop and punk rock ENGLISH! yeah man. welcome to my life.. u make me wanna.. better than some chinese freak song anyway. =D goodie. eoys are next week and i only studied one subject. damn it. i think i'm gonna die. how how how i'll DIEEEE. why do i feel lyk crying. oh yeah i saw some sec 4s sitting together looking dazed and conked out and i think ppl are all becoming ghosts here muggingmuggingmuggingmugging. i dun wanna be lyk tt but i guess its just infleunce. rgs sucks to the core. thwi
Sunday, October 10, 2004
I woke up it was sevenI waited 'till eleven
Just to figure out that no one would call
Boring life. bleargh. so much hw i'm dying. only did my maths assign and chi compo and studied geog. ergh and ate and slept. i'm fat. hi garfield. i love lasagna too if i havent said tt before
Saturday, October 09, 2004
You are Frylock! Probably the only person with
brains, your tough and smart. You kick some
serious ass.
Which Aqua Teen Hunger Force Character Are You?
you know i think i've totally lost my mind taking so many quizzes
Usher!
Which of these Hotties is your Match?
hahaha YAAAAYY I'M USHER!
You were a Roman Gladiator!
What Was Your Past Life?
hahah gladiator.. fightfightfight
Your aura shines Red!
What Color Is Your Aura?
wow. hahah that's romantic. anw.. most are agreeable i think
You are Gimli! You are a brave and loyal dwarf, but
you display many un-dwarflike characteristics.
For example, making friends with an elf. You
love to fight and sometimes think too much of
yourself. All in all, you're an okay guy.
Which LOTR Character are you?
haha gimli! the cute dwarf. i'd rather have aragorn or legolas but well if this's my character then ok..
CHINESE ORALS WAS LYK ARMAGEDDON.
darn screwed! lyk i dint even know how to speak la. and at the end i was staring at that teacher and WRECKING my brains to think of SOMETHING, ANYTHING to say. but there was nothing. was so freaked out by myself i had brain block. and i was squeezing my calf fats lyk crazy. very sick yeah. and nearly pulled my hand off. and ms zhang was the examiner next to mine. ah well. i think it was lucky i dint get her. otherwise i might have nth to say. anyway it's over. what can i do. i did better in p3. also bcoz that was lyk e first time in 3 weeks that i spoke chinese? and i said a few words. only. and the passage i was stumbling lyk me running away from fast flowing lava. crap. i couldnt read nearly every 5 words smoothly!?! erggggghhhhhhhh i shall stop thinking of that.
i studied veryveryvery little today. and dere's all my homework unfinished. one chi compo eng compo eng compre 9 chpts of workbook maths assign.. blahblahblah. ARGHHHHHH.
-----------------------------------------------------
You don't know what it's like to be like me...
To be hurt, to feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
But no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like...
Welcome to my life
All the women who're independent
Throw your hands up at me
All the honeys who makin' money
Throw your hands up at me baby
All the mommas who profit dollas
Throw your hands up at me
All the ladies who truly feel me
Throw your hands up at me
---------------------------------------------
YEAH. i'm nuts.
---------------------------------------------
I didn't mean to fall in love with you
And baby there's a name
For what you put me through
It isn't love, it's robbery
I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me
Friday, October 08, 2004
i swear i have finally started mugging. after about two weeks talking about it.. crap have no time to go online.. now in school weeding for sl. bleahs. and eng remedial summary writing thing.. wdv. weall just twined some morning glory w/out flowers on the windows and they really look quite nice.. and sprayed some perfume! hahah smells good too! yaaay it's FRIDAY!!!!! OH DAMN. i forgot there's CHINESE ORALS tomorrow!!!! salope. spoil my day..... at least there's no pic thing.. ergggg and i just detest that examiner! duuuh. count on my luck. i havent spoken a word of chinese for two or three week? the chinese teacher dont even dare to call on me coz all my answers are wrong. either that or i dont know what's he asking for. crap. who cares. SO WHAT ABOUT EXAMS? gth
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
the merry devil i'm pissed to the high heavens
Glock17. Everyone loves you. G-Dawgs and Cops alike
fancy you. Aren't you just special?
What handgun are you?
Tuesday, October 05, 2004
You are Peppermint Patty!
Which Peanuts Character are You?
Which Pepsi-Cola or Coca-Cola soda are you most like?
--------------------------------------
grrr i'm SOO bored now in com studs.. mr tan (teo) let us do anything we want!! and FINALLY the class is OUTTA chinese pop and into english rock and pop. FINALLY [relived] i'll just keep doing quizzes duuh. hahah i found this quizilla quiz maker who has zillions of quizzes on crap and sex! HAHAHAHA. here's one
WhicH CursE / SweaR WorD ArE YoU ? ! ( InsanitY QuiZ # 1 ) z74
i ran and ran and ran
and never stopped
i died
and here i am in hell
--------------------------------
sally wong is on mc again. goodie. poor thing though she's sick for more than one week already. exhaustion?
Sunday, October 03, 2004
You're orange. You're strong and have the reflexes
of a tiger. You're overly protective, and
those skills come in handy... You're a natural
person, with a taste for natural foods (I mean
organic, here.). Well, that's not true.
...Just food in general! You're as
quick-witted as your reflexes, and sometimes
painfully logical. You love wild animals and
pets. (Preferably wild animals!) You're a
natural person, and a true child of Gaia.
You're a stimulating, and outgoing person. You
enjoy making people think, especially with your
infectiously spontaneous attitude. You're a
generally optomistic person, with a love for
showing off all of your good traits. Although
many people may see you as strung-out, or just
plain weird, you're very down-to-earth and
humble. You're incredibly sweet (as this
color's other name!), and you care about people
in general. As this color would describe,
you're energetic beyond all human
comprehension. You've got a nack for drawing,
and you enjoy it, too. When it comes to
school, you're a good listener with an even
better memory. You're studious... At least
when you need to be!
so how can you tell me you're lonely
and say for you that the sun don't shine
let me take you by the hand and
lead you through the streets of london
i'll show you something
to make you change your mind
every good thing in my life is a dream
if only i couild wake up and it be true
but i just gotta let it go
someone once told me that my brother loved me alot
and asked if i loved him too
i didn't answer
but in my mind it was a no
and sadly i don't think it will ever change
--------------------------------------------------------
i did nothing today
Friday, October 01, 2004
HAPPY BIRTHDAY ONIONS!!!!!! hahahah. let's stink. ahahah veggie tales is HILARIOUS.but anyway super crappy jeassea dint get in. whatever. wont support any. huuuh. jerry ong est SALAUD!!! he's so arrogant and disgusting and got that i'm-very-good-what attitude... puts me off. [PUKES]
janessa!!! (or jamjam) is saiw! hahahha. stony adversary, inhuman wretch. whoooo young fry of treachery is here!! lols
You are Tweety
You are cute, and everyone loves you. You are a
best friend that no one takes the chance of
losing. You never hurt feelings and seldom have
your own feelings hurt. Life is a breeze. You
are witty, and calm most of the time. Just keep
clear of backstabbers, and you are worry free.
Which Cartoon Character are you?
brought to you by Quizilla
laugh out LOUD. well i don't agree, but sometimes friends DO know you better than urself right! so, yea what do yall think!! HAHAHAHA.
escapist
but a morose optimist.
musings
June 2004 July 2004 August 2004 September 2004 October 2004 November 2004 December 2004 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 February 2010 March 2010 April 2010 May 2010 June 2010 July 2010 August 2010 September 2010 October 2010 November 2010 December 2010 January 2011 February 2011 March 2011 April 2011 May 2011 June 2011 July 2011 August 2011 September 2011 October 2011 November 2011 December 2011 January 2012 February 2012 March 2012 April 2012 May 2012 June 2012 July 2012 August 2012 September 2012 October 2012 November 2012 December 2012 January 2013 February 2013 April 2013 May 2013 August 2014 March 2017
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